Save Me

Do you ever feel just like lost? Like lately I just feel so lost, like I can't get a straight head about anything. I've been putting off school and of course, I hate my job. I don't really like Louisiana and I just want to move. I just want to feel content and feel like full, like everything is okay. I feel so lost.
I feel like I dont have God in my life. I pray, but I also sin. I sin in knowing that it is wrong. And I care and I want him to care about me. But I feel like I've gone too far and that I'm not even worth caring about. I dont study. I started a new home business, but yes, as it is fun, its not like what I want to do in life. It's not my passion. I want to move closer to my siblings, but everyday it feels like I'm being drawn closer to California. I just want to feel like accepted and like I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do.
This is going to sound so stupid, but I've been watching season 4 of hells kitchen on hulu. And, like how cool would it be to like know your passion and have the drive to be able to do it. I procrastinate so badly, and is that a sign? I mean, what? I just wish I knew something, I wish I had something more than I do.
I haven't talked to Patrick in like two weeks. I hope that he is happy. I don't even want to reach out anymore. I don't even really care. I wonder how he is doing, but besides that. I'm so happy that I have my kids around me and that they are happy and healthy. I just don't even know.

Please Save Me